If you’ve ever sat in a therapy session and felt misunderstood—even slightly invalidated—after opening up about a high-conflict relationship, you’re not alone. Survivors of narcissistic abuse often enter therapy carrying not just pain, but deep confusion: Was it abuse? Or was I the problem? And when therapists approach these stories with emotional neutrality or a focus on “both sides,” the impact can in fact, be incredibly retraumatizing.

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Narcissistic abuse isn’t a typical relationship breakdown. It’s a slow erosion of self through gaslighting, manipulation, control, and intermittent reinforcement that keeps the survivor emotionally tethered. In these dynamics, one person holds disproportionate power—whether through charm, intimidation, or psychological control—while the other is often left second-guessing their reality. When therapists treat these relationships as symmetrical, or suggest both partners “contributed equally,” it reinforces the very confusion and self-doubt the survivor is trying to escape. 

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That’s why therapy for narcissistic abuse has to feel different... It requires therapy through an antagonistic-informed lens with emotional accuracy, not neutrality. Survivors need their therapist to help them name what happened clearly and safely, not soften it. We’re not here to villainize anyone—we are here to identify harmful patterns in behaviour, validate the survivor’s experience, and begin rebuilding self-trust from the ground up. This kind of therapy isn’t about fixing the relationship; it’s about helping the survivor recover the version of themselves they had to suppress to survive it.

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We take a trauma and Narcissistic-informed approach that centers the survivor’s nervous system and lived experience. There is no rush to “forgive,” “co-regulate,” or “see their side.” That can come later—if the survivor wants it. First, we focus on safety. Clarity. Emotional empowerment. And restoring the ability to trust your gut again.

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If you’ve ever felt like traditional therapy didn’t quite land for your experience with narcissistic abuse, it’s not because you were too sensitive or difficult to treat. It’s because you needed a different framework—one built around the reality of emotional trauma, not relational theory. Typical therapy frameworks for Couples Therapy are build around “non antagonistic relationships”, meaning, relatively healthy despite conflict. In Narcissistic abuse, the rules of engagement are different.

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Share this with someone who needs to hear that they deserve this kind of care, and that it exists. 

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Happy healing 🫶🏻

Michelle Lauzon, M.Ed., RP, NATC

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